Things have been sucking but they have been improving. My solution to my head problems is working but its having bad effects of its own. Its not too common for me to feel one way and be another. First off, ive noticed I can't feel pain as much. Someone in one of my classes was joking around and asked me if they could stab me. I laughed and gave him permission. He said he didn't have anything to do it with so I gave him my pen. He stabbed me three times in the palm and I began to bleed but didn't feel a thing. I told him he could do it more but he was far too freaked out. There are other examples but I won't mention them all. This is a good thing, but there are more things that are bad. For one, I can be drop dead tired but my concentration won't let me sleep. Ive barely slept at all since last Friday. When I go to sleep, I always wake back up about two hours later. I wake up and go out into the day completly energized from the concentration, but im pretty much brain dead. I can't help but to just pass out in some of my classes. It seems like im just doing it too much, but it should be back to normal soon because I haven't been doing it as much. I only did it once today, to prepare for the midterm. It was kind of a waste because the midterm was only 28 questions and they were easy as anything. We get a packet with 90 some problems on it to practice for a 28 question mid term. Oh well, what can ya do.

I have been making quite a bit of money from black jack lately. One guy owes me $39, another owes me $4, and another owes me $4. Not bad. Can't wait until they all pay.

Went to Mike's party today. It was fun, even though Mike as usual didn't think it was. All of the vodka members were there a few hours early. We tried to play this game where you would draw a card, and the person who had the lowest card had to drink a shot of hennessy. Mitch was the first to get the lowest card...and he looked at it and started to wuss out. Wayne kept saying, "comeon! don't be a pussy!" But he wouldn't, and we passed it on to the person with the next lowest card, Wayne. Take a guess what happened.....yes, he wussed out. Me and Mike both took one together, saying cheers to the vodka head staff while he demoted the others. "You can't sip it, you have to down the whoooooole thing..." as Mike said. I just starred at him for a seconed and slammed it. Then we played poker, I was pretty relaxed from the alcohol and Wayne was acting absolutly drunk even though he didn't take anything. Me and him helped each other cheat. Mitch caught us, but we bribed him not to tell Mike, hahaha. Later on Chris and Robert came, but no one else. Near the end of the party, we were practicing fighting. There was a break in the fighting, and I used that time to turn my eyes white (I didn't tell them that though). As soon as I was done, I challenged everyone (Robert, Mike, and Mitch were the only ones left) to a 3 againts one, AND I was wearing ancle weights, and the floor was as slippery as hell. My eyes were glowing, I was so ready for it....but they ALL BACKED DOWN. Pissed me off so much. I swear to God that happens like, every time. Oh well, there will be another time. Thats everything for now, boring, I know.

Just when I thought everything was going to be okay...

My health problems are back in full rush. It started up again a few days ago. Today around 3rd period, I went completly numb. First time its ever happened that severe in school. The numbness last until near the end of 7th period. Throughout 8th period, I was shaking alot. Its strange because I usually only shake if I have alot of stress, but I wasn't that stressed out. I have been getting full nights of sleep, but am more tired than when I was healthy with deprevation. Now, I still have that annoying feeling in my head. I can't concentrate at all. Ah, oh well, I guess theres no escaping it. I guess i'll just have to live with it and hope for the best.

And if anyone might have any idea what the hell is wrong with me, let me know.

Ok, nothing much new. Yesterday, my mom went up to my brothers for the whole night, and my dad took the time to record his God-awful song about her. When he finished, he wanted me to listen to it because im too much of a God damn retard to not notice it was about his wife. Earlier this night on the ride home with my mom from piano, I was wondering whether I should tell her or not. Eventually, she started complaining about him again, so I told her. He wasn't home at that time, so the both of us went downstairs to the studio to look for it. It was gone. The paranoid bastard must of hid it. Im not going to bother with it though, because my mom believes me, and it doesn't seem as though its going to make any difference. Guess i'll just have to be patient for three years and hope she doesn't back out of divorcing, AGAIN. Screw it, theres no need to worry about it. If she divorces by the three years, I can just wait and see what happens. If not, I can still wait for my 3+ years when i'll be prepared to abandon them. I know there doesn't seem to be much difference between going to college and only talking to them once in a while then never contacting them completly, but theres just a feeling behind it that seperates the two.

Most important for now is my present. Im happy, im going to stay that way, and im going to enjoy things. If I have to make a radical, life changing decision where if I fail, I fail at life, let it remain in the future.

This is going to be the easiest, free, and most carefree time of my life. I have to make full use of it.